Hello everybody! How are you all doing?
Today, as I told you the other day in the E-Scape article, this one will be about my dreams and my fears. To be honest, I have lots of dreams that I know I’ll never achieve… and loads of irrational fears.
Let’s kick it off with my fears because I feel like it’s going to be the weirdest part of the article.
- My first and probably biggest fear is loneliness. Not the fact of being left out, but loneliness as a state, as a moment in your life. The fact that you wake up in a double bed on your own, have breakfast on your own, go to uni talking to yourself because nobody else is there to listen anyway…
- My second fear comes from the first one: loneliness within a crowd of people. That’s the worst feeling ever because you see groups, couples, a whole damn class of 30 people you’re supposed to belong to but you feel invisible…
- My third fear is being forgotten. I feel like this also comes from the first fear. I am scared that someone might be better than me and they’ll take the little light I still have. I am scared that I might never be able to achieve a few of my dreams and that nobody will remember me once I’m gone or once I die or something…
- The last fear I’ll talk about today is losing the people I love. My family, my two best friends, my best girl friend, the guy I’m in love with, my friends from theatre, my theatre teacher… I know there are a lot of people there and I know that everybody ends up leaving for some reason or another but I really hate this saying. Why should people leave if they love their lives? Why should they leave the people they feel good with?
On a more positive note, let’s talk about dreams.
- My very first dream is to write a whole book, a whole novel. I have started a few but I am currently working on one that I am aiming to finish and it’s all about a girl falling in love and having dreams and fears and realizing that people aren’t always who they pretend to be… It’s about life, basically…
- My second dream, which I know for a fact will never come true is singing in front of people. Like a proper concert, a proper show. I’ve done it a few times already but it was always kind of a kids show and I feel like I’ve grown a lot since these shows and I wanna prove people that the songs I write and record are actually not too bad and that I’m not just a person you can say “Shut up” to every time they sing.
- My third dream is probably the craziest: meeting Joe Sugg and most of my favorite YouTubers. I happen to like Joe a whooooole lot (you may have understood if you read my other articles) and I really dream about the day when I’ll get to meet him and hug him and whatever else I can do to him. I mean, I even got his two books for bloody Christmas! (Thanks Mom and Dad)
- This next dream is one everybody has, I feel like: finding a guy I love and who loves me back, getting married like a proper princess in a long white dress with roses all around the place and bridesmaids and groomsmen and everything. Then, I want to have a family with kids and a dog (mostly a dog) and a house with a backyard.
Not gonna lie, I started writing this article this morning and it’s now 21:34. I’m currently listening to a few songs I haven’t listened to in months such as Asciendo by Ministry of Magic (Google it). I believe I started listening to it because it’s all about Harry Potter but I happen to like it a whole lot.
The song has changed, I’m now listening to Stitches by Conor Maynard. I love that guy. If I’m honest, I love the whole Joe, Conor, Caspar Lee and all the guys’ squad. The Buttercream squad as they call themselves. I mean… right. Are there any songs you love a lot? Please feel free to tell me and I’ll listen to them whenever I have some time.
Anyway, I’m going to go to bed now because I have a really rough day tomorrow and I need my beauty sleep. I love you all,